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Tobuscus Videos

GUESS WHAT?!?  - The Talking Dog Show (feat. Tobuscus)
GUESS WHAT?!? - The Talking Dog Show (feat. Tobuscus)

Vote Here for Streamys! ► http://bit.ly/StrmysEnt2014
Follow and Subscribe! http://iglinks.com/tobuscus
Vine/Instagram Playlist ► http://bit.ly/1kPCvBw
LOOTCRATE IS AMAZING ► http://lootcrate.com/tobuscus
Tobuscus Music! ► https://youtube.com/watch?v=eN7dYDYfvVg&index=28&list=PL0A71290ABAAA7698
SHIRTS ► http://tobuscus.spreadshirt.com
SHIRTS EU ► http://tobuscus.spreadshirt.net
Check out Spritz ► http://spritzinc.com

TobyGames! http://bit.ly/TobyGames
Fans! http://facebook.com/tobuscus
Daily Vlogs: http://youtube.com/tobyturner
Twitter! http://twitter.com/tobyturner
Website: http://worldbuscus.com/
Check out my Vine!: https://vine.co/Tobuscus

© 2014 Tobuscus

HOTTEST COMIC CON EVER
HOT COMIC CON SELFIE PARTY
MINE THE DIAMOND (Minecraft Song) [Toby Turner ft. Terabrite]
MINE THE DIAMOND (Minecraft Song) [Toby Turner ft. Terabrite]

Now on iTunes! https://itunes.apple.com/us/album/mine-diamond-minecraft-song/id879498655
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Subscribe to Terabrite! (they did the instrumentals!) http://youtube.com/terabrite
Next Song: http://bit.ly/1bHovI9
Prev Song: http://bit.ly/11Vl1jv
Tobuscus Music Playlist! - http://bit.ly/Musicbuscus

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Daily Vlogs: http://youtube.com/tobyturner
Twitter! http://twitter.com/tobyturner
Come to my Comic Con show! http://bit.ly/1i9ySpf
Worldbuscus Minecraft Server! IP: MC.WorldBuscus.com
Website: http://worldbuscus.com/

Lyrics:

It's about time that I find a diamond
It's about time that I mine a diamond.
It's about time that I find a diamond
Hope the diamond doesn't mind when I mine it.

(when I find the) Diamond, diamond, I'll mine a diamond
(when I find the) Diamond, diamond, if I could find one.
(when I find the) Diamond, diamond, I'll mine a diamond
Hope the diamond doesn't mind when I mine it.

What would you do with the diamonds?
Put em on a stick.
Why would you do that to diamonds?
To make a diamond pic.
How do you fuse all the diamonds?
I put em on a table in a certain pattern depending on the item that I want to make
A table.
With a click diamond items get made.
With a table.
A diamond pick axe in this case.
A table can't do that. How can a table do that?
Cause it's a table of crafting. It's how we all craft things.
But how's it bend diamond?
Cause that's what it has to do.
So I can forge the most ultimate tool.
It's about time that I find a diamond.
It's about time that I mind the diamond
It's about time that I find a diamond
Hope the diamond doesn't mind when I mine it.
So I break through the rock.
Cut through block after block
And I finally find what I'm destined to mine
I raise up my pickaxing arm one more time
As soon as I make sure it's cool with the diamond.
Diamond, would you mind if I mined you?
Answer me or I'll think you don't mind my pickaxe cutting through you.
I hear no objection, time to get to mining, mining, I mine the diamond.
Mining, mining, I mine the diamond.
Mining, mini....
AAHHHH. My pickaxe broke.
So i'll mine the diamond with my hand my hand
i'll mine the diamond with my hand my hand
Dude, you can't mine diamond with your hand it just dsappears.
What's that? It disa... OHH NOOO!!!

Vocals/Lyrics by Toby Turner/Tobuscus
Music by Terabrite http://youtube.com/terabrite
Director & Storyboard Artist: Talia Ellis
Character Designer: Talia Ellis
Lead Animator: Stephanie Throssell
Animators: Ketzi Rivera and Chelsea Hemphill
Tobuscus and Gabuscus Character Designs by Gonzalo Villagomez

© 2014 Tobuscus

GO PRO FAIL
GO PRO FAIL

Full Podcast ► http://bit.ly/1cf2W5a
Watch Lonny ► http://bit.ly/1hSEJiD
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Tobuscus Animations Here! - http://bit.ly/1aZZHqW
Gaming Channel - http://youtube.com/TobyGames
Daily Vlogs - http://youtube.com/tobyturner

We do podcasts every week! Or at least we try to. On the last episode we rigged Go Pro's to Tim's dad's convertible (yes, we stole it) and drove around Los Angeles, chatting about everything from the Lochness Monster to the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers (think that covers just about everything there is to talk about, ever). But mainly we searched for our lost Go Pro Hero 3 that flew off the side of the car.

So here's a highlight of the best moments from our Go Pro scavenger hunt of stupidity.

© 2014 Tobuscus Inc

LITERAL X-Men: Days of Future Past Trailer
LITERAL X-Men: Days of Future Past Trailer

Mine the Diamond! ► http://bit.ly/MinetheDiamondYT
Prev Literal Trailer ► http://bit.ly/1lPmYS9
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Freakin Music Videos ► http://bit.ly/1aZleqt
Mini Minotaur Plush! ► http://bit.ly/18HrFeg
Toby Sucks at Podcasts! http://bit.ly/1cf2W5a
Subscribe on iTunes ► http://bit.ly/TobusCASTaudio

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It's no longer the 20th Century...
Comic Flip Marvel, shrink, fade.
No X-Man's ever lost a staring contest... til him -
Then no one ever blinked again, they're dedicated.
When they pledged their lives to unblinking eyes,
they did not realize they'd have to cry to moisturize.

You failed them once, Xavier - don't let your eyelids waver.
Mansion, door, vision blurred, spinny circle, darkness.
Take a moment to stop and think
how hard it is not to blink,
especially when your name is Blink!
Don't blink, Blink!

The camera lens blinks, just to rub in in,
then it does it again.
What a perfect camera blinking simulation.

From Brian Singer, the director of the shhsfhht
Uh... Toby? Toby?

Yeah I'm here, there were too many words to sing.
Blue light, still no blink.

I don't see why we can't blink.

If you blink, he'll shoot you.
She's blue in both color and mood.

I once had hair, like you do!
Prove it.
Flash back to a hairier day,
when he dusted away,
and he touched to convey telepathically.

Back to present day - half his face in the shade.
You said sleep with one eye open!
It's just an expression, dude.

Sideburn upkeep. Gazebo burn down.
Floating half-collar pop makes the people go crazy -
especially the ladies.
Someone get the President to end this trend.
Then extreme exfoliation trend sweeps the nation,
mental glass explosion trend, in slow-motion trend.
Who's starting these trends?

Staring contest wages on.
Sex change on a lawn.
Can't stare when you're gone...
Someone's got a short temper.
NOT HIM - the blue guy.

Halle Berry static-cling.
Naked blue break-dancing.
Under table slide.
Fake throw.
Angry side.
Your turn for acupuncture!

Don't let her get to the past-half-collar-popped guy,
or the trend could transcend time...
And a darkness would fall.

Well, you could use Rogaine.

X-Men Days of Future Past. Past. Past.

Written/Sung by Toby Turner

© 2014 Tobuscus

DRIVE-THRU PRANK
DRIVE-THRU PRANK

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Drive-thru pranks are funny, so I'm trying one. Well I mean, this is more of a food order prank call done in real-life, and will probably pop up on related videos when you watch stuff like that super funny mcdonald's drive thru prank, or all the drive-thru pranks ever, so if you're coming from one of those... WELCOME!

Prank calls were always kind of mean in my opinion and done usually on people who don't deserve them, but at the end of it all, if it wasn't the Jerky Boys doing it, people would all have a good laugh. Except in the '90s, when they had shows like Crank Yankers, Jerky Boys had a feature film and nobody had caller ID. That's right, there was a time when funny drive thru stuff, fast food order prank calls, and everything else that was just you messing with people could be 100% anonymous.

It's probably also why old people were more on-edge all the time about "young kids" being "punks" and all that stuff - because we could get away with it. There's a lot more freedom now with cell phones (leashes), so you can do whatever you want and your parents can always know where you are, AND cameras are everywhere. They just have to detect your face, like they do on Facebook and BOOM, you're caught doing some weird, random funny prank that you thought you'd gotten away with.

So, in the vein of the fun of being hilarious anonymously, here's a video with my name on it, while I'm wearing a shirt of myself, and handing a person a card with my name on it.

Enjoy :)

© 2014 Tobuscus

BEATBOX REMIX
BEATBOX REMIX

MORE Montage Monday ► http://bit.ly/1oGxJbp
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Podcast Highlights ► http://bit.ly/1lBFwuX
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This is an awesome beatbox battle (against myself) remix. It's a compilation of some moments that I absolutely LOVE from TobyGames (my gaming channel, if you haven't subscribed check it out here: http://bit.ly/1rjV5F5). Beat boxing is something I do naturally while gaming because I have a natural musical quality to the way that I like to lose at video games.

I have an insane amount of moments that I love from my gaming channel and I'm going to start posting my favorite moments on Tobuscus, because this channel is meant to entertain. But not for 10 minutes at a time. This is the channel where you guys expect a certain amount of quickness and quality that is indicative of the stuff that I like to do the most: the fast stuff for people with my attention span. So, since it's 2014, and beatbox battles are a thing at this point, I figured I'd start the first Montage Monday post... on a Tuesday. But on Tobuscus.

I'm sure it's Montage Tuesday SOMEWHERE, but for now let's pretend it's still Montage Monday. Because it sounds so much better.

SO here I am, beatboxing against myself, or with myself, to some tunes I made up while gaming.

Enjoy and subscribe!

BEATBOX BATTLE REMIX!

© 2014 Tobuscus

HOT TWINS PRANK
HOT TWINS PRANK

Subscribe on iTunes ► http://bit.ly/TobusCASTaudio
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Twitter | http://twitter.com/tobyturner
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STEVEN'S NOTES:
This is the ninth episode of the still kind of new Tobuscus podcast: TOBY SUCKS AT PODCASTS, starring Toby Turner (who sucks so hard at podcasts that he actually cancels himself out and becomes amazing at them, kind of like how dried ice burns your skin, only slightly less painful). This week, YouTube singing sensation, Chester See, joins Gabuscus and Tim on the big red couch!

Toby pulls an April Fools prank on Tim. Let's just say that it involves twins, Tinder, and Tim getting SUPER embarrassed. I almost feel sorry for Tim. Just kidding, he gets paid more than I do because he gets more than handshakes APRIL FOOLS nobody touches me.

Chester See and Toby improvise an amazing song based off an audience suggestion from Twitter.

Chester, Toby and Gabe read Fan Sketches about gaming even though Gabe has found a kindred spirit in non-gamer Chester.

LET THE BROMANCE BEGIN.

ALSO TOBY, CHESTER, and GABUSCUS LAY DOWN SOME NEW SWEET TRACKS FOR YOU TO REMIX AND SUBMIT TO THE SHOW! Send your remixes to remix@tobuscus.com

Me, Chester See and Wayne Brady in...
WHISTLE WHILE I WORK IT
https://youtube.com/watch?v=wmxUMcqGGTw&index=30&list=PL5AB4B8F2A335A9F7

LITERAL Titanfall Trailer
http://youtube.com/watch?v=oFU2SPLukvY&list=UUVJK2AT3ea5RTXNRjX_kz8A

POEMS, BRO
http://youtube.com/watch?v=DJoarAaXslk&list=UUfRU6TVIzRaa_4gA8-_H7PA

GOAT SIMULATOR!!
https://youtube.com/watch?v=kcSyvxcu5Pc

© 2014 Tobuscus

HAPPY ENDING
HAPPY ENDING

Subscribe on iTunes ► http://bit.ly/TobusCASTaudio
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Prev Episode (Rhett and Link!) ► http://bit.ly/1idoT41
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Join the Audience!!
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STEVEN'S NOTES:
This is the eighth episode of the still kind of new Tobuscus podcast: TOBY SUCKS AT PODCASTS, starring Toby Turner (who makes sucking at podcasts so cool that they are already banning it in some states, countries and other places who have laws against that for some reason). This week, Katers17, or as she's best known on the internet, "Katers17" joins Gabuscus and Tim on the big red couch!

We find out what an English Summer is, which isn't very different than a Siberian Winter, apparently.

Toby gets a massage, and then Gabe gets a professional massage by a man twice his strength, which turns him into a wee little baby for a while. They get a traditional Thai massage with a happy ending and everything. I think I know what that means, like it's probably that thing where you're a lot happier at the end of the massage because of how relaxed your muscles are, right? Anyway, Gabe and Toby get happy endings with their on-screen massages.

Toby and the gang play America's favorite computerized catchphrase game...CATCHPHRASE.

ALSO TOBY, KATERS, and GABUSCUS LAY DOWN SOME TRACKS FOR YOU TO REMIX AND SUBMIT TO THE SHOW!!

Subscribe to Katers17 here:
http://youtube.com/user/Katers17

LITERAL Titanfall Trailer
http://youtube.com/watch?v=oFU2SPLukvY&list=UUVJK2AT3ea5RTXNRjX_kz8A

Happy Wheels: CAPTAIN FLAPPY BIRD
http://youtube.com/watch?v=kkIVNdd70vs&list=UULCmJiSbIoa_ZFiBOBDf6ZA

JENNA MARBLES AND A DINOSAUR
http://youtube.com/watch?v=lbpsq-HJ1Ks&list=UUfRU6TVIzRaa_4gA8-_H7PA

Special thanks to What's Trending for letting us shoot in their space! Check them out at http://youtube.com/whatstrending

© 2014 Tobuscus

LITERAL Titanfall Trailer
LITERAL Titanfall Trailer

Get the game! http://walmart.com/titanfall
Win a trip to EA HQ in San Francisco! http://titanfallgiveaway.com
Get the Mp3 Here! - http://bit.ly/1gxCBKQ
Justin Bieber Parody ► http://bit.ly/BieberBuscus

Buy the TALKING Mini Minotaur ► http://bit.ly/18HrFeg
Free Netflix Month for Audience! http://netflix.com/audience
Toby Sucks at Podcasts! http://bit.ly/1cf2W5a
Subscribe on iTunes ► http://bit.ly/TobusCASTaudio
Tobuscus Music Videos ► http://bit.ly/1aZleqt
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10% off Lootcrate (sponsor!) http://LootCrate.com/audience

Depressing Song Music Video ► http://bit.ly/CRYING

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Join the Audience!!
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Twitter | http://twitter.com/tobyturner
Spotify | http://bit.ly/TOBYonSPOTIFY

THE TITANFALL TRAILER (full gameplay cinematic trailer) gets the LITERAL treatment in this explosion-filled, robotpocalypse of awesomeness. I wish I didn't have to use words to describe the LITERAL Titanfall Trailer... actually I wish I didn't even have to sing it. It just should've been me making explosion sounds with my mouth because that's all I want this description to be. MYEEEEEOOWN, PWOOOSH, ohnogetoutoftheway!!!! RATTLERATTLERATTLE nooooooooooo! PFFFFFFFFFFFGHGHGHGHHTTTTT!

I hope you love this Titanfall song as much as I loved doing it. So fun. Thanks for watching!

This Video is Paid for by EA

Titanfall Giveaway Sweepstakes: *NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Eligibility restrictions apply. Sweepstakes starts March 8, 2014 and ends May 11, 2014. Void where prohibited. Complete official rules can be found at titanfallgiveaway.com or can be obtained by sending a self-addressed stamped envelope to: PO Box 1006, 12700 Inglewood Ave, Hawthorne CA 90250.

©2014 Respawn Entertainment, LLC. Respawn, Respawn Entertainment and Titanfall are trademarks of Respawn Entertainment, LLC. EA and the EA logo are trademarks of Electronic Arts Inc.

© 2014 Tobuscus

St. Patrick's Day w/ Rhett and Link
St. Patrick's Day w/ Rhett and Link

Subscribe on iTunes ► http://bit.ly/TobusCASTaudio
10% off LootCrate (sponsor!) http://LootCrate.com/audience
Prev Episode (PSYCHICS!) ► http://bit.ly/1iGioKq
Podcast Highlights ► http://bit.ly/1cBCSS4

Tobuscus POSTERS! http://tobuscus.spreadshirt.com
TALKING Mini Minotaur Plush ► http://bit.ly/18HrFeg
Tobuscus Shirts (US) l http://tobuscus.spreadshirt.com/
Shirts (EU) l http://tobuscus.spreadshirt.net/

Join the Audience!!
Facebook | http://Facebook.com/Tobuscus
Twitter | http://twitter.com/tobyturner
Spotify | http://bit.ly/TOBYonSPOTIFY

STEVEN'S NOTES:
This is the seventh episode of the new Tobuscus podcast: TOBY SUCKS AT PODCASTS, starring Toby Turner (who makes sucking at podcasts look really fun, awesome and difficult, like it takes a lot of effort). This week, Rhett and Link join Gabuscus and Tim on the couch!

We learn that Rhett and Link's first kiss was with the same girl, which is the weirdest thing to share with a friend of 30 years. We learn who Toby's first kiss was too! The answer may (not) surprise you...

ALSO AN IRISH SONG ABOUT DATING AFRICAN AMERICAN LADIES! Everyone drinks green beer too!

Rhett and Link play the YouTube dating game against no one!

Toby learns the difference between a desk and a table.

Rhett and Link play the YouTube dating game while being shot, sorry I almost forgot to say that everyone gets to shoot Gabe with nerf darts if they got questions wrong.

And then Tim gets shot once.

Subscribe to Rhett and Link here:
https://youtube.com/rhettandlink

Caption FAIL Collaboration:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=7lTUXVfTVOg

Troll Sketch:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=72RzOEyxC-8

Toby Tells Tales: The Nipples Story
https://youtube.com/watch?v=8naLQ0sa-cU

Special thanks to What's Trending for letting us shoot in their space! Check them out at http://youtube.com/whatstrending

Justin Bieber Deposition PARODY
Justin Bieber Deposition PARODY

Previous Tobuscus Vid ► http://bit.ly/1ia8SML
Mini Minotaur Plush Doll! ► http://bit.ly/18HrFeg
Free Netflix for Audience! http://netflix.com/audience
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Thanks for watching the Justin Bieber Deposition Parody (Tobuscus & Gryphon Remix)

Toby Sucks at Podcasts! http://bit.ly/1cf2W5a
Subscribe on iTunes ► http://bit.ly/TobusCASTaudio
Tobuscus Music Videos ► http://bit.ly/1aZleqt

10% off Lootcrate (sponsor!) http://LootCrate.com/audience

Depressing Song Music Video ► http://bit.ly/CRYING

Tobuscus Shirts (US) l http://tobuscus.spreadshirt.com/
Shirts (EU) l http://tobuscus.spreadshirt.net/

Join the Audience!!
Facebook | http://Facebook.com/Tobuscus
Twitter | http://twitter.com/tobyturner
Spotify | http://bit.ly/TOBYonSPOTIFY

See the full Justin Bieber DUI deposition video here: http://bit.ly/Pu8TkF

The Justin Bieber Deposition video is one of the greatest viral sensations in the history of viral sensations. This video's a parody of the original, full-length Justin Bieber deposition video. In the full video, he comes off kind of like a bad guy to most people, but really he is being asked fairly unreasonable questions in it -- especially when they ask Justin Bieber about Selena Gomez. "Don't ask me about her" is said like 4 different times, but the guy keeps asking.

The main Justin Bieber/Selena Gomez storm off video was hosted by TMZ, but it kind of even seems like the litigator himself was FROM TMZ because he does ask some weird, personal questions.

They also ask him if he's ever been to Australia, which is great because I've been to Australia, at which point I decided I HAD to make a Justin Bieber Deposition parody video (of the full deposition).

Gryphon interrogates me and I feel threatened in this video, but it's a joke. This is a parody of the Justin Bieber interview. Also, should this be a series? (2014)

© 2014 Tobuscus

Justin Bieber Deposition Parody (Dog Interrogator)

TITANFALL GAMEPLAY PARTY
TITANFALL GAMEPLAY PARTY

Get the game! http://walmart.com/titanfall
Win a trip to EA HQ in San Francisco! http://titanfallgiveaway.com
Previous Tobuscus Vid ► http://bit.ly/1cBCSS4

Buy the TALKING Mini Minotaur ► http://bit.ly/18HrFeg
Free Netflix Month for Audience! http://netflix.com/audience
Toby Sucks at Podcasts! http://bit.ly/1cf2W5a
Subscribe on iTunes ► http://bit.ly/TobusCASTaudio
Tobuscus Music Videos ► http://bit.ly/1aZleqt
Tobuscus POSTERS ► http://tobuscus.spreadshirt.com

10% off Lootcrate (sponsor!) http://LootCrate.com/audience

Depressing Song Music Video ► http://bit.ly/CRYING

Tobuscus Shirts (US) l http://tobuscus.spreadshirt.com/
Shirts (EU) l http://tobuscus.spreadshirt.net/

Join the Audience!!
Facebook | http://Facebook.com/Tobuscus
Twitter | http://twitter.com/tobyturner
Spotify | http://bit.ly/TOBYonSPOTIFY

We here at Tobuscus think it's important for all of you to know that you are in danger. The MINI MINOTAUR (now on SALE http://bit.ly/18HrFeg) went on a rampage in San Francisco and killed a bunch of people (according to him), so keep your eyes out and make sure to buy one since he says over 14 hilarious phrases and will bring warmth and amazingness to everyone in your life.

Also, I went to the Titanfall gameplay preview launch party event (all of those words, in one sentense, WHAT NOW GOOGLE) in my Heelys, of course, and interviewed the crew of the awesome new game Titanfall. Gameplay is smooth as silk, or you when you shave and actually don't cut yourself accidentally, or aren't using a 6 month old razor.

The Titanfall gameplay special event/party was great because I got to play Titanfall before anybody, enjoy the wall-jumps while people watched me suck at video games AND I got to roll down this epic ramp with my Heelys. Once again, if you're not having that much fun with your clothes, it's ridiculous. These Titanfall interviews made me realize how cool people who make video games are. They're like those friends you had when you were little that made up the rules about which garbage can was a goal and which part of the sidewalk was hot lava.

Anyway, here's me being awesome/annoying at the Titanfall launch party in San Francisco.

ALSO, the Mini Minotaur visits all the San Francisco landmarks and destroys them.

Titanfall Giveaway Sweepstakes: *NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Eligibility restrictions apply. Sweepstakes starts March 8, 2014 and ends May 11, 2014. Void where prohibited. Complete official rules can be found at titanfallgiveaway.com or can be obtained by sending a self-addressed stamped envelope to: PO Box 1006, 12700 Inglewood Ave, Hawthorne CA 90250.

©2014 Respawn Entertainment, LLC. Respawn, Respawn Entertainment and Titanfall are trademarks of Respawn Entertainment, LLC. EA and the EA logo are trademarks of Electronic Arts Inc.

© 2014 Tobuscus

INAPPROPRIATE TIM (Unnecessary Censorship)
INAPPROPRIATE TIM (Unnecessary Censorship)

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UPDATE: Toby Sucks at Podcasts will remain equally awesome, but will now be showing in its entirety on youtube.com/tobyturner every Tuesday.

I'll be posting my favorite moments on Tobuscus, and some others on TobyGames. The podcast is really fun and cool to do every week, but 45 minutes of content is pretty daunting -- so we'll keep it going on TobyTurner.

This is a clip of Tim telling us his last name, Gabe and I then make fun of him. We then the conversation some unnecessary censorship and we end up making the whole thing extremely inappropriate, it's fantastic.

Tim's last name is Baker, by the way. This all started because I almost bleeped out his last name in the podcast since he doesn't even have social media and the rest is this clip. Enjoy!

© 2014 Tobuscus Inc

SPLASHY FISH SONG (Cookie Remix)
SPLASHY FISH SONG (Cookie Remix)

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So I played Splashy Fish: EXTREME MODE for iOS and in it, there's a part where the Cheep Cheep (Mario Fish) lands on what looks like a chocolate chip cookie (see the full video here: http://bit.ly/1eHIl42).

I loved the concept of a fish landing on a cookie, and ostensibly eating it, so much that I decided to make this Splashy Fish Song (Cookie Remix).

This is my favorite thing to come out of all the Flappy Bird clones.

Also, it's my birthday, so asd;fkjasd;flkjads;lfkja! Woo!!

© 2014 Tobuscus

MEET MOMBUSCUS
MEET MOMBUSCUS

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STEVEN'S NOTES:
This is the fourth episode of the new Tobuscus podcast: TOBY SUCKS AT PODCASTS, starring Toby Turner (who will always suck at podcasts), where you finally get to meet the woman herself: Mrs. Buscus, Mommybuscus, Overlord of Awesomeness, the original executive producer of Tobuscus... MOMBUSCUS!

Toby PRANK CALLS JENNA MARBLES about her Depressing Song footage by saying that there's now an accidentally leaked Jenna Marbles nude video floating around the internet. He blames it on his "editor"... I wonder who that could be. And no, there wasn't really any nude Jenna Marbles footage so stop asking in the comments.

Gabuscus and Tim join Toby to introduce his mother and then promptly start talking about boobs, breasts, bras and hot girls in this week's HOT CHICK NEWS!

Toby Turner and Gabe re-enact a police phone call made by a man trying to get a woman from a one-night-stand out of his bed.

Another big black MEGACRATE makes an appearance.

YOU CAN WIN a console in a box by tweeting song ideas for next week with the hashtag #tobysucksatpodcasts

Mombuscus comes on and sings the MOM SONG! We see her being adorable while listening to Depressing Song for the first time and we get to watch Tobuscus interact with everyone while on his best behavior.

After the LootCrate toys, we get to see some of Toby's childhood toys, a tiny little rain jacket he used to wear, and some adorable vintage pictures of Toby when he was a little boy.

We get more ALAN RITCHSON, who plays Raphael in the new Michael Bay Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie AND we see an old Donatello Ninja Turtles plush toy of Toby's!

MAD LIBS happens!

And of course MORE FAN STUFF! Watch and find out whose stuff made it onto the show.

Subscribe to Jenna Marbles at https://youtube.com/jennamarbles

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© 2014 Tobuscus

Depressing Song LIVE!
Depressing Song LIVE!

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In the third episode of the new Tobuscus podcast: TOBY SUCKS AT PODCASTS, starring Toby Turner (who sucks eternally at podcasts) April Efff joins Tobuscus for a performance of Depressing Song LIVE!

This week's guests include JacksFilms himself, Jack Douglass. April Efff for the song. And a MEGACRATE courtesy of LootCrate.

Gabuscus breaks the sad news to the crew about the Patrick Swayze's death.

Toby ignores the elephant in the room when the MEGACRATE contains a Head Crab (Half Life series) that looks a liiiittle bit like something else.

Toby and Gabe play MAD LIBS with JacksFilms.

Toby tells the story about how he got mugged in an In-N-Out Burger parking lot.

Romantic Valentine's Day plans are briefly discussed and as always, the Tim's Gaming News and Fan Stuff Time segments blow people away.

Tune in every week for a new episode of Toby Sucks at Podcasts.

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DEPRESSING SONG LYRICS
I wrote this song just to depress you.
When this song is done you'll need a tissue.
You could've smiled. Didn't want you to.
I wrote this song just to depress you.
And now...
You're starting to bawl
But you wish you were dead. For no reason at all
But why...
Keep Playing this song?
If it makes you so sad...
That you can't turn it off
I wrote this song just to depress you.
When this song is done you'll need a tissue.
You could've smiled. Didn't want you to.
Cuz I made this song just to depress you.
And I...
Won't be satisfied.
Until Everyone...
In the whole world has cried....
Cuz I made this song just to depress you.
And when this song is done you'll need a tissue.
You could've SMILED. Didn't want you to.
Oh-oh-oh
I wrote this song just to depress you.
I wrote this song just to depress you....
Also I put it up on iTunes. (sigh)

© 2014 Tobuscus

DEPRESSING SONG ("Say Something" Parody of A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera)
DEPRESSING SONG ("Say Something" Parody of A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera)

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This depressing song is a parody of the popular hit "Say Something" by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera. Say Something is one of the saddest songs I've ever heard. I wanted to turn it off, but I couldn't. And it made me cry, like most songs about love do because I'm a romantic man filled with passion and blood and guts, technically. So I wrote this song just to depress you -- and also to further depress people who like songs about depression. To go along with it, I've also made this beautiful, sad, HD music video parody of the original Say Something video starring Gabuscus, April Efff, Jessica Cook, myself, and the following awesome people...

SUBSCRIBE TO:
April Efff: http://youtube.com/user/AprilEfff
Jessica Cook - https://youtube.com/user/JessicaMCook
JacksFilms - https://youtube.com/user/jacksfilms
Rhett & Link - https://youtube.com/user/RhettandLink
Jenna Marbles - https://youtube.com/user/JennaMarbles
Harley Morenstein (The Sauce Boss) https://youtube.com/user/EpicMealTime
Taryn Southern - https://youtube.com/user/TarynSouthern
Steve Kardynal - https://youtube.com/user/SteveKardynal
Thanks Andy for letting us use your house!

I wrote this song just to depress you.
When this song is done you'll need a tissue.
You could've smiled. Didn't want you to.
I wrote this song just to depress you.
And now...
You're starting to bawl
But you wish you were dead. For no reason at all
But why...
Keep Playing this song?
If it makes you so sad...
That you can't turn it off
I wrote this song just to depress you.
When this song is done you'll need a tissue.
You could've smiled. Didn't want you to.
Cuz I made this song just to depress you.
And I...
Won't be satisfied.
Until Everyone...
In the whole world has cried....
Cuz I made this song just to depress you.
And when this song is done you'll need a tissue.
You could've SMILED. Didn't want you to.
Oh-oh-oh
I wrote this song just to depress you.
I wrote this song just to depress you....
Also I put it up on iTunes. (sigh)

© 2014 Tobuscus

MY EX-GIRLFRIEND (Toby Sucks at Podcasts #2)
MY EX-GIRLFRIEND (Toby Sucks at Podcasts #2)

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In this second episode of the new Tobuscus podcast: TOBY SUCKS AT PODCASTS, starring Toby Turner (who still sucks at this podcast) Tobuscus tells a story about how he made some very angry women even more angry.

This week's guests include Toby's high school friend Dan, Clare herself, and as always Tim and Gabuscus.

Gabuscus names the show using a magic 8-ball, which turns up the result "Outlook Not So Good".

Don't miss Toby tap into his alter-ego Brobuscus for the Hot Chick News report.   

Tobuscus shows us his support for Miley Cyrus, who wants to "decriminalize the woman body."

He, Gabuscus, and this week's guest Dan reminisce about Toby's high school girlfriend, and then Toby proceeds to give her a call. Find out what happens!

Also, we find out that Toby Turner is friends with Raphael from Ninja Turtles himself... ALAN RITCHSON. We also see a clip of an interview he did with Alan Ritchson.

Special thanks to What's Trending for letting us shoot in their space! Check them out http://youtube.com/whatstrending

Tune in every week for a new episode of Toby Sucks at Podcasts.

SHARKNADO!!
SHARKNADO!!

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STEVEN'S NOTES:
I am SO GLAD that Tim did this instead of me. He signed up to watch Sharknado via live stream along with the whole audience, but never quite go to see the full Sharknado movie itself. Instead, he was faced with probably the hardest troll I've ever seen pulled on anyone, at least while simultaneously trying to watch Sharknado in its entirety. Prank or not, the live stream is amazing.

These are the best parts of the stream, brought to you by Tobuscus himself and the greatest sport in the YouTube business, Tim!

© 2014 Tobuscus

MEET GABUSCUS from Tobuscus Animated Adventures
MEET GABUSCUS from Tobuscus Animated Adventures

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It's the first episode of the new Tobuscus podcast: TOBY SUCKS AT PODCASTS, starring Toby Turner (who sucks at podcasts.)

Special thanks to What's Trending for letting us shoot in their space! Check them out http://youtube.com/whatstrending

The new weekly show is about video games, Toby, stuff, hilarity, talking and more!

This week's guests include Gabuscus, Seth Hendrix, Eric and Clare!

And by his side, a special treat. You know him from Tobuscus Animated Adventures, you love him from the occasional video, but here, at last, finally, in the flesh: Gabuscus! As someone once said in the comments: "HE'S REAL!" Though the cartoon version of him prefers Gabe-Uscus and the real-life version of him prefers Gabe, we'll see what he actually gets called in this first episode of Toby Sucks at Podcasts.

In Tim's Gaming News, Tim valiantly tries to cover the Beta test of the new steam OS, Fallout 4's website hoax and fashion probably.

Tune in every week for a new episode of Toby Sucks at Podcasts.

See Gabe/Gabuscus' videos: https://youtube.com/user/habe28

LET'S WATCH A MOVIE (Live Stream)
LET'S WATCH A MOVIE (Live Stream)

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Come watch a movie. It's a date. Well, not a date, because there's a lot of you and only one of me. So... let's... stay away... from that... sentence. Live streaming from Tobuscus headquarters, we'll watch a movie together as a family.

A Friday night movie, just the thousands of us.

Go to Netflix.com/audience to sign up for a free month trial of Netflix if you aren't a member yet, and then go to our live stream on Friday night!

Also there's some bad news about the Tobuscus Adventures Wizards game, in that it's ready for people to play, but we put it on iTunes and it exploded. Also, there's an awesome Tobuscus Animated Adventures Wizards mini game starring Gabuscus and Gryphon. We show a short, a really really short, clip of it here.

AND Mini Minotaur plushies are for sale. They say 14 different murderous phrases like:

"CUDDLE ME"
"I WANT TO CUDDLE YOUR SOUL"
"THROW ME AT YOUR ENEMIES"

and more!

We could watch a funny movie, but instead I think we're going to be watching the worst Netflix movies that you can possible watch. Movies will be decided by the audience... and me.

Hopefully we get to do this livestream before the Mini Minotaur takes over the world and kills all of us. Or just brings you, us and all the children of the world joy.

© 2014 Tobuscus

LITERAL Game of Thrones Season 4 Trailer
LITERAL Game of Thrones Season 4 Trailer

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The Game of Thrones Season 4 trailer gets the Literal Trailer treatment from Tobuscus. This Game of Thrones teaser/preview came out on a Sunday, which is when most of us watch the show, so it quickly spread around the web, making adult nerds go nuts everywhere -- well, that and kids whose parents basically let them watch medieval nudity.

In the GoT season 4 preview we get to see Daenerys Targaryen's dragons soaring above a city, showing us that they will, after 3 seasons of waiting, finally be dragon-sized. We've also got Peter Dinklage's character Tyrion Lannister getting in some kind of trouble, Cersei and Jaime Lannister getting along -- plus the King Slayer even gets a haircut. Jon Snow is still alive after being love-arrowed nearly to death at the end of the last season of GoT (season 3). Trailer has some more great stuff in it too, like the making of Jaime Lannister's golden hand, Jorah Mormont getting friendzoned even harder and, of course, at least one shot of sex (because it's GoT.) After everything that happened last season it's hard to something about Game of Thrones funny, but Joffrey's little kimono thing was just too much. All of this aside, I'm watching the Game of Thrones Season 4 premiere for one reason: freakin ACTUAL DRAGON-SIZED DRAGONS

The music in this Game of Thrones song was completely recomposed.

And in case you're wondering, the song in the original Game of Thrones season four trailer is Chelsea Wolfe's "Feral Love" (to find it, YouTube search "music theme game of thrones trailer season 4".)

Lyrics:
Fade. Skyrim intro. Passing dragon shadow.
Baby Burger King® can't eat 'cause he's too stressed.
"Do you like my dress?"
Naughty crow, manless horse. See her topless even more.
Dude, I found your horse, it's like two scenes back.
He has half the hands but talks twice the smack.
Cut to dungeon, fade to black.
They ain't having that. They hate fades to black.
They make a big fire to prevent fades to black, but the effect is short.
Wasn't talking 'bout him. Change the subject... horses!
But they're all mad 'cause I made a short joke.
At least I didn't call him a mi-ah aarh ahh aahhh!
The cast doesn't like that joke.
The hot chicks don't approve. Old man doesn't approve.
His brother's sword has mustard on it.
Changed the subject just in time.
He's one of my favorite characters.
Hopefully they won't kill him like they do with everyone else.
...that wasn't him, was it? I doubt it.
They only kill extras in trailers, so most of them are screwed.
Once his hand is glued, she's in the mood to make another one of those with her brother.
Strike a pose! Littlefinger love dem hoes.
"Aww yeah, damn straight!"
Push a tree to cut to a vague release date. Ride through the gate.
Super tall guy, (relatively). Hand in the fire.
Wants to go play, but it's too high difficulty :(
The New Season gives new reasons to hate Joffrey.
Also, his mom sucks still.
They should make a book about this TV show.
Begins
Running barbarians
Winter's coming again. Swing
CROSSFIRE
She's hot but he's cut off. (Him too.)
"Show them the montage now."
Naked slapping, Snowy drama, Cross-dress, Bar fight, Snow. Still hot. STAB GROUND.
Game of Thrones
"Did you just poo poo on your pants?"
Kill off one more extra at the end.
Premieres Sunday April 6 at Ni... fade.

© 2014 Tobuscus

CREED PARODY (With Arms Wide Open Music Video HD Spoof)
CREED PARODY (With Arms Wide Open Music Video HD Spoof)

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In this parody music video, which I can't decide whether to call "With Presents Wide Open," because that sounds perfect but I never actually sing that... I wake up to find my presents were opened by some surprise-ruining burglars. Hit it!

Well I just love the holiday.
Christmas Lights. Santa's Sleigh.
Early rise, I'm on the way.
When to my surprise, under the tree...
the presents were open.
Who opened my presents?
Who the f*** broke in
and started opening
my f***ing presents?
Who does that?
My presents were open.
They didn't touch like anything.
Just the stuff under the tree.
They didn't take the stuff
the presents had inside...
they just ripped the wrapping paper off.
F*** those guys.
My presents were open!
They ruined the surprise.
Broke into my place and opened everything.
My f***ing presents.
And left them neatly arranged.
Guess I'll tell my mom...
to rewrap everything.
My f***ing presents.


Written/Sung by Toby Turner / Tobuscus
Guitar by Eric Lewis

© 2013 Tobuscus

WHAT DOES THE FAX SAY?  (North Korea Ylvis The Fox Parody Music Video HD)
WHAT DOES THE FAX SAY? (North Korea Ylvis The Fox Parody Music Video HD)

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North Korea is actually totalitarian as of 2009! Woops! Also, the fax is in Japanese. And it's RETINA display. But I don't need facts! I'm American!
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Two days ago, North Korea's Kim Jong Un sent a threatening fax to South Korea. When I heard about it, I asked, "What did the fax say?" Parody ensued.

Here's an article about North Korea's threatening fax to South Korea -
http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2013/12/north-korea-sends-very-threatening-message-by-fax/
Read about Kim Jong Un and Dennis Rodman's bromance - http://theguardian.com/world/2013/nov/02/dennis-rodman-north-korea-kim-jong-un

STEVEN'S NOTES:
Making a parody of Ylvis' comedy music video seems like a thing I wouldn't ever do... but Toby told me it was funny, so I laughed. Apparently Dennis Rodman is good friends with Kim Jong Un, so hopefully this spoof doesn't offend him. If it does, I might be able to sneak my way into Tobuscus' will. What does the will say? Hahahah.. I laughed way too hard at myself just now.

Kim Jong Un's
Stressing out.

Killed his uncle just last week.

Pyongyang sucks. Communism blows.
Dennis Rodman doesn't know.
They want to kill like everyone.
Kim Jon Un goes Mu Ha Ha.

They send a note the way they know how.

What does the fax say?

BEEP brrbrbrrb

WHAT THE FAX SAY?

Beep BRB BEEP BA DEE BEEP

WHAT THE FAX SAY?

No paper have to reload (repeat)

WHAT THE FAX SAY?

Murder murder everyone kill kill kill murder gonna die.

Mur murder kill kill kill kill murder kill

WHAT THE FAX SAY?

Is it wise for me to post
this parody video?

If they saw, they would kill
everyone I'd ever known.

Fortunately, they do not have
any access to YouTube.
Cause it was banned by Kim Jong Un's dad.

If you're caught they'll use deadly for or or or orce

There are exceptions of cour our our our our ourse.

What does the fax say?

Back in my day I was awesome. Used to be all the rage. People used to fax but not anymore.

WHAT THE FAX SAY?

Someone just please use me. I will send a fax for free. Just please please please use me I'm lonely.

BEE A HEE A HEE

SHUT UP FAX

Sorry

WHAT THE FAX SAY?

Someone USE MEEEEE

WHAT DOES THE FAX SAY?

The thing about the fax. It is obsolete.
No one uses them anymore. Not since the 90s.

We use computers now. Can I send you a phone?
You can have my old iPhone 3. But there's no retinal display.

But you'll probably be okay though.

It's relatively really good.

You'll have the best phone in town.

(I want dat display tho. The retinal display tho.)

For us it's pretty slow.

I want to ship my obsolete iPhone to your home.

(gimme the good display tho.)

Written/Sung by Toby Turner / Tobuscus
Instrumentals by Terabrite - http://youtube.com/terabrite

© 2013 Tobuscus

TOBUSCUS ANIMATED ADVENTURES #8 - WORLD WAR PvZ
TOBUSCUS ANIMATED ADVENTURES #8 - WORLD WAR PvZ

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In the new episode of Tobuscus Adventures, Toby and Gabuscus travel "back in time" to when Crazy Dave from Plants vs. Zombies 2 was selling some PvZ 2 plants to farmers. Will his solution work to save the world from the plant and man-eating zombies from the game or will the world end once and for all?

Tobuscus takes the plants to the present to kill the zombies from It's About Time, then joins his best friend and partner President Barack Obama in saving the world.

As usual, the episode features a breadth of hilarious pop culture references, see if you can spot them all. From ID4, to DC comics, to an arrangement of internet memes, keep your eyes peeled for more!

BONUS: Episode 8 of the Tobuscus Animated Adventures (featuring Plants vs. Zombies 2) also includes one of the best speeches ever (SPOILER: the speech from Independence Day).

Plants vs. Zombies 2: It's About Time is available for download on iTunes, iOS, Android and more.

STEVEN'S NOTES:
The Plants vs. Zombies 2 game features the same awesome zombies from the game, as well as Crazy Dave himself, who to me always sounds like he makes more sense than Toby Turner himself.

Check out PvZ on Facebook! http://on.fb.me/SYVGKB http://t.co/06ZaySi6IP
Follow PvZ on Twitter: http://bit.ly/PjXp1N

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Written by Toby Turner
Tobuscus - Toby Turner
Gabuscus - Gabe Hohreiter https://youtube.com/habe28
Director & Storyboard Artist: Talia Ellis
Character Designer: Talia Ellis
Lead Animator: Stephanie Throssell
Animators: Ketzi Rivera, Chelsea Hemphill, & Rafaella Angelica Nepales
Colorists: Joanne Koehler & Jules Senecal
Tobuscus and Gabuscus Character Designs by Gonzalo Villagomez

Obama vocals provided by Iman Crosson aka Alphacat. Check out his channel: http://youtube.com/Alphacat

© 2013 Electronic Arts Inc. Not all images representative of actual gameplay.
© 2013 Tobuscus

TOBUSCUS ANIMATED ADVENTURES #7 - Plants Vs. Zombies
TOBUSCUS ANIMATED ADVENTURES #7 - Plants Vs. Zombies

Tobuscus SHIRTS & Minotaur plush! http://bit.ly/1eOiQAj
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In the new episode of Tobuscus Adventures, Toby and Gabuscus face a new wave of zombies from the Plants vs. Zombies universe and decide to fight the oncoming zombie apocalypse by going back in time using something that looks like a TARDIS™ (but absolutely isn't a TARDIS™ from Doctor Who™ because it's not bigger on the inside), and also has a flux capacitor in it.

Episode 7 of Tobuscus animated adventures features, as usual, an incredible amount of Easter eggs, so keep your eyes peeled for old friends and assorted pop culture references!

Zombies have taken over the world and are eating people on the streets, so it's up to Tobuscus and Gabuscus to actually go outside for a change and face the undead walking monsters out for blood and brains.

Plants vs. Zombies 2: It's About Time is available for download on iTunes, iOS, Android and more.

Check out PvZ on Facebook! http://on.fb.me/SYVGKB http://t.co/06ZaySi6IP
Follow PvZ on Twitter: http://bit.ly/PjXp1N

STEVEN'S NOTES:
"It's About Time"... I JUST GOT THAT.

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Written by Toby Turner
Tobuscus - Toby Turner
Gabuscus - Gabe Hohreiter https://youtube.com/habe28
Director & Storyboard Artist: Talia Ellis
Character Designer: Talia Ellis
Lead Animator: Stephanie Throssell
Animators: Ketzi Rivera, Chelsea Hemphill, & Rafaella Angelica Nepales
Colorists: Joanne Koehler & Jules Senecal
Tobuscus and Gabuscus Character Designs by Gonzalo Villagomez

Obama vocals provided by Iman Crosson aka Alphacat. Check out his channel: http://youtube.com/Alphacat

© 2013 Electronic Arts Inc. Not all images representative of actual gameplay.
© 2013 Tobuscus

VIRAL SONG
VIRAL SONG

Get Viral Song on iTunes!! - http://bit.ly/1chI7TF
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Tobuscus comes in and teaches young Tim Tim how to make a video go viral on YouTube. Viral songs are usually "clickable", and they contain a few things that everyone loves from funny videos they've seen around the web. For example: cute cat videos, laughing babies, hot girls doing almost literally anything you can think of, and, of course, educational facts about cashews, so that parents will let their kids watch the video.

STEVEN'S NOTES:
If this doesn't become the most popular video on YouTube that he's going to have to start making me work for "free", which I already do.

UPDATE: This Viral YouTube song isn't the number one track on YouTube after what I think has literally been 30 seconds, so I'm never getting paid.

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Written and Performed by Toby Turner
Guitar by Eric Lewis
Director: Talia Ellis
Character Designer: Talia Ellis
Lead Animator: Stephanie Throssell
Animators: Ketzi Rivera & Chelsea Hemphill
Colorists: Britta Souhrada & Ketzi Rivera
Tobuscus and Tim Tim Character Designs by Gonzalo Villagomez
Track Produced by Choco

LYRICS:

Look at little Tim Tim,
Tryin' to write a viral song.
He looks a little lost.
Guess I could help him along.

What you got, Tim Tim?
Aaahh! My door!
Never mind that, Tim,
I've come to help, you won't regret it.

Just follow the recipe,
And gather the ingredients.
Pick a topic people
Talk about on social media.

Don't violate the terms of service,
Or your vid will be deleted.
Also, make a catchy chorus.
Something that can be repeated:

Cats, cats, laughing babies,
People falling, hot hot ladies,
Sleepy puppies, dancing babies,
Kittens, monkeys, more hot ladies.

Put a lot of words in one verse.
Careful to enunciate it.
Sing multiple layers,
It helps if you animate it.

What do you mean? Animate it?
Um, what do you mean, "What do I mean?"
You said animated, what do you mean by that?
(No, No, No) (I don't think I said that at all.)
Yeah, I think you definitely said that.
No, I think I'd remember if I said that, for sure, definitely.
Well what'd you say?
Well I think it was probably something along the lines of, uh...

Cats, cats, laughing babies,
People falling, hot hot ladies,
Sleepy puppies, dancing babies,
Kittens, monkeys, more hot ladies.

Put a lot of words in one verse
Careful to enunciate ((Slurred)) it.
Say something educational
So parents let their kids play-it.

Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? (What?)
D-D-D Did you know that cashews come from a fruit (How?)
Ca-Ca-Ca Cashews, cashews, fru-fru-fru fruit! (What?!)
D-D-D Did you know that? (No...)

Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? (What?)
D-D-D Did you know that cashews come from a fruit (How?)
[Ha!] Ca-Ca-Ca Cashews, cashews, fru-fru-fru fruit! (What?)
D-D-D Did you know that? (I, I said no, I said no...no....)

It's ok, Tim, nobody blames you.
Most people don't know the truth about the cashew.
But now you do so next time you go to the playground,
Have everybody gather around and
Tell them what your good friend Tobuscus has taught you....
TELL EM'!

Did you know that cashews come from a fruit? (That's right)
D-D-D Did you know that cashews come from a fruit?
Ca-Ca-Ca Cashews, cashews, fru-fru-fru fruit!?
D-D-D Did you know that? Noooooo!

SING IT!
Cashews, cashews! Come from a fruit!
AGAIN!
Cashews, cashews! Come from a fruit!
LOUDER!
Cashews, cashews! Come from a fruit!
D-D-D Did you know that? NO!

Ok now, get this stuff out of my parent's house!
No, Tim, you're the one that asked for my help.
I didn't ask you for...(Shhh, you don't have to thank me, Tim Tim.)
Alright, I'm gonna get out of here, I'm gonna upload this to iTunes.
But I thought this was MY viral song!
You thought this was gonna be... Noooo, it's not gonna be viral;
It's a terrible song, I'm telling you to do it yourself,
And that's why I charged you 500 dollars.
We didn't agree on 500 dollars!
AAhhh, your voice is so annoying man, its so annoying.

© 2013 Tobuscus

Cooking SUCKS
Cooking SUCKS

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Welcome to Cooking Show! A new segment, planned way in advance, where celebrity chef Tobuscus guides you through the process of how to make hamburgers from scratch! He uses ingredients meant for an actual Food TV-style show and bought with a business card, intentionally, for the sole purpose of teaching everyone how to grill the best hamburger in America, in the comfort of your very own home!

While staying true to his culinary integrity, Chef Tobuscus outlines the best way to keep your hamburgers juicy while manning the grill like a pro, and never forgetting to tell you, the adoring, recipe-hungry audience, how to make a hamburger good, great and absolutely delectable!

Delicious recipes! Fun times grilling with friends! And, of course, the best hamburger recipe for any meal!

So, revel in the joy of learning how to cook an American-style burger with your friends while preparing a marvelous feast, here on Cooking Show!

STEVEN'S NOTES:
Toby made me taste test his actual attempt at making a hamburger in a microwave and now I just got out of the hospital, so he's making me write this description for an online cooking show that has saved him from jail. It feels like something's about to burst from my stomach.

He even forced me to thank him for the microwaved, onion-stuffed hamburger. I'm 100% sure they were raw, but he insisted they were "Tartare, so it will be fine."

Join the Audience!!
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Thanks Incompetech for the music! - http://incompetech.com/
© 2013 Tobuscus

Why HD is Overrated (feat. BlizzCon 2013)
Why HD is Overrated (feat. BlizzCon 2013)

Today Only! Every signed KingBuscus poster comes with a free Wizards Poster! http://bit.ly/1breqM1
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Let's join Tobuscus as he explores the wonderful World of Warcraft-fans at BlizzCon 2013. Toby keeps it real by filming with his iPhone, giving you a "first hand" look (Get it? Because he's actually holding the phone-camera with... Eh, yeah, sorry) at the BlizzCon experience.
Join the Audience!!
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© 2013 Tobuscus

How To Laugh Like A Pixie
How To Laugh Like A Pixie

Wanted to try something new :) #LazySketch
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Self affirmations are awesome and here is how you do it! This is how Toby Turner stays confident 110% of the time. The only thing that could bring himself down is Toby himself. Click on them buttons, the choice is yours, you can do it!

Steven's Note:

Before you subscribe to others you must subscribe to yourself. Self confidence comes to those who see it as a skill. I unfortunately have no skills, which is a skill in itself, but not a well paid one. Toby has made this very clear, specifically the "no skills" and "unpaid" part.

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Toby's "DAILY AFFIRMATIONS!"

© 2013 Tobuscus

BATTLEFIELD 4 LAUNCH PARTY
BATTLEFIELD 4 LAUNCH PARTY

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Join Tobuscus at the Battlefield 4 Launch Party where merriment and murder ensues at the Walmart in Atlanta! Prepare to totally own your enemies on land, sea and air. Experience destruction of epicosity with the new Levolution feature that lets you destroy the environment as you battle your friends! Remember to comment below for a chance to win the X-box version of the game!

Steven's Note:
Man, that launch party seemed pretty fun. I wish he invited me to come along instead of locking me in at his house and putting Gryphon in charge. He peed on my computer, tore up the yard, and chewed up the sofa, then blamed it all on me!

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© 2013 Tobuscus

How To Be Old School
How To Be Old School

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STEVEN'S NOTE:

OLD-SCHOOL TOBUSCUS

© 2013 Tobuscus

Thanks for 5 Million Subscribers!! - TOBUSCUS MONTAGE
Thanks for 5 Million Subscribers!! - TOBUSCUS MONTAGE

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Hey Audience! Thanks so much for coming along with me on this ride of Epicosity! Who could have guessed that when I put my first video up in 2006 that things would progress to so much awesome stuff like Literal Trailers, Animated Adventures and more? It's been such a fun journey and without you, none of this would be possible. I really appreciate all the love and I hope to keep entertaining you far into the future!

STEVEN'S NOTE:
Yeah, thanks for all the views. That's nice. Now, if you could get him to pay me better, that'd be great. You'd think that if he's being so appreciative I'd get a raise or something. I mean, negative $6 an hour is pretty harsh. Maybe I can get it up to negative $3. Ah, one can dream.

The full videos of the clips used in this are playlisted here - http://bit.ly/1d8xQbV
"You're" off to the side friend,
Steven

© 2013 Tobuscus

MINI-MINOTAUR VS GRYPHON
MINI-MINOTAUR VS GRYPHON

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Steven's Note:
Vote now to bring Tobuscus to a Walmart near you! Please do me a favor and make him go far away from here. I need a day of rest from his incessant brow beating. That's right, he savagely hits me with his eyebrows on a constant basis. It's brutal. I have the bruises to prove it. Worst of all I'm racking up quite a medical bill due to my lack of health benefits.... and pay... such is life.

© 2013 Tobuscus

How to Play Piano With Passion (Solo in E Minor)
How to Play Piano With Passion (Solo in E Minor)

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(sorry for repost - YouTube wouldn't accept HD version for some reason last time)

In this video Tobuscus passionately plays a piano solo in E Minor and records it with his iphone. Toby Turner would've played a longer solo, but it would likely cause Audience harmful side effects due to oversaturation of passion.

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Passion Piano (in E Minor)

© 2013 Tobuscus

OMEGLE FAN SURPRISE
OMEGLE FAN SURPRISE

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In this video Tobuscus goes on Omegle and surprises fans by playing his guitar and serenading them with song.

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© 2013 Tobuscus

LITERAL Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag Trailer
LITERAL Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag Trailer

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The Assassin's Creed 4: Black Flag Trailer gets the literal treatment from Tobuscus. This murderous video contains all the classic Assassins Creed moves, but with added Pirate ships. Argh! Toby Turner returns to AC4 with enough murder-hood action to put Pirates of the Caribbean and Johnny Depp out of business for good.

Lyrics:
Stargate, Sparkle, Ubisoft.
Nod at the boat and people die.
Everywhere people die.
(That's a callback)
This is the longest he's ever gone without killing anyone.
He wonders if his future son will carry out the tradition of killing everyone he sees.
It's his lunch break luckily.
Toast of Equality!
Hurry with the toast, there's a drunken hot girl walking to the right!
Bet she'd love to see a fight...
Bad guy music begins as the ponytail twins barge in.
Look down on the people that you're better than.
Ominous orchestral note, time to let the patrons know: Happy Hour's over.
Time for everything to suck.
Mysterious hooded man watches (from a distance).
Take a second to sober up.
(low tolerance)
Target confirmed.
Hooded man turns.
Bandana man see's hooded man's subtle arm movement signal, which tells him to go make a toast with the people.
And then he lets all of them know... it was a toast TO DEATH!
You shouldn't toast before you know what the toast is for.
Bear hug, head bash, bottle smash.
Slow-mo person pass.
Stab face.
Again and again and again.
Another wine bottle pass in slow motion.
Hooded man feels good-
Hey! Don't touch the hood.
If you try to stab the hoodless man he'll stab you in the abdomen, man.
And steal your wallet. Duh.
LOOK RIGHT!
Colonial running shoe commercial.
They thought they could catch the boat... not even close.
Captain walk to the edge of the dock, SNAP TURN.
Let's go chase that freakin' boat sailed by Heath Ledger's ancestor.
Celebrate, sail into the sunset, fade.
The captain's not about to let the bird-bow-boat get away.
Gimme that telescope. Give it!
Use the mini telescope, aim the cannon at the boat.
Shoot four, only two go through - maybe two were blanks?
Strike a pose, Edward turns the boat.
Red cloaked captain probably should've let that bird boat go... OH NO!
Cannon's not shooting blanks anymore.
DARKNESS!
Murder-Hood goes on.
Inception Bwahh.
Someone's gonna get splinters, and second-hand smoke!
I'm just saying, be careful.
WATCH OUT FOR THE HOOKS! OOH!
Shoulda listened! Edward wants to ascend.
Shoot your gun to cut the rope just to make it difficult.
Flying up to run away, no more murdering today... NOT!
Can't believe they bought that.
Same thing goes for all their hats.
I prefer my Murder-Hood.
People die 'cause I look so good.
D-rop the pistols, throw a stick.
His friend makes sure his death is quick.
Guess I'll do the same for you, (assuming you want me to)
This is gonna end badly for you.
It already has for your crew.
Listen, I'll give you some free ones.
DEHHH! DAHHH!
Convincing enough?
Look you disarmed me!
Now I am completely defenseless... (gasp) NOT!
Booyah.
Last words: Port or Starboard?
Assassin's Creed IV: Black Flag
Cut to Kenway's boat sitting in a bay.
Ever since I got this diamond filled with DNA, it feels like someone's watching me.
DELICIA

© 2013 Tobuscus

SRY LADIES :(
SRY LADIES :(

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Intro:
Hello everyone, my name is Gryphon, as you know if you have come to my wedding. This is my wedding so...it's gonna be starting any second. Soon as my fiance gets here so I have 3 more commercials that I'm posting today, if you want to watch the videos you can do that by clicking the start playlist button. I'm gonna practice my vows until then. Nicole I vow to never pee on your stuff. Unless...unless I really have to go, um or if I see something of yours and I want it to be yellow, then I'll pee on it. But that's it, um, other than that I'll never...I promise to never pee on your stuff.

Outro:
Uh, I have one more vow I'm gonna work on, ok so *throat clear* Nicole I vow to when we're married, uh I will quash all the evil with my Hammer of Justice, and in the darkness will be, I'll burn it away...and it's gonna be hard cuz I'll...I'll probably trip on a lot of stuff cuz it's dark and I cannot see what I'm doing. So there'll prolly be stuffed animals that I have lying around that I chew on sometimes and that's it...just chew on them and that's all I do to them...and that's nothing else. So, I don't want to do this now...I changed my mind!

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© 2013 Tobuscus

DISAPPEARING ACT
DISAPPEARING ACT

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Intro:
Hello, I'm Gryphon and I feel great. I'm having a great day, so... just look at me, I'm single and I'm gonna go to the club, so click start playlist to watch the videos from today and then I'm just gonna go twerk it. Thank you.

Outro:
Did you know, did you know, did you know that dogs aren't allowed in clubs? I just found that out. So not only did I not... I got prevorced and I'm not able to twerk it, or even do the moon walk or even the pee pee dance. All the.. all the dances, I know all of them. I couldn't do any of them because the bouncer said that I was a dog, and then I said, "I know!" and then he said "Okay, end of discussion". I said "But we didn't even start a discussion yet!" I should be able to get into the club and twerk it if I want to, so he has no business telling me when and where I can't twerk it.

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© 2013 Tobuscus

CARTOON NETWORK CHARACTERS
CARTOON NETWORK CHARACTERS

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Intro:
Hello, I'm Gryphon, so I thought when my fiance's mom said I was being stood up at the altar I thought she meant I was gonna walk on two legs, but what she meant was her daughter is divorcing me before we even get married. She's prevorcing me, so, I don't want to talk about it, just watch the video.

Outro:
Hello, thank you for watching my video, i hope your able to laugh despite knowing that my heart was just ripped out of my chest. I felt like I was king of the world, and now I just feel like a little sh** tzu. Steven, don't bleep that, that's my breed, Steven, not now, its not the time, thank you.

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© 2013 Tobuscus

ADVENTURE TIME
ADVENTURE TIME

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Intro:
Hello and, and thank you for stickin' around at my wedding so...um I still haven't heard from my future wife yet, but stay calm, I'm sure she just got her zipper stuck for 3 hours...So watch this video and I'm sure she'll be here by the time it's over, thank you.


Outro:
Hello! Thanks for watching! So...my fiance isn't here yet, but her mom called and said that I was gonna be stood up at the altar, so that's exciting cuz usually I stand on all fours, so if I could be stood up at the altar that would be so great!

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© 2013 Tobuscus

10 MINUTE DAFT PUNK HAPPY WHEELS PARODY (with Lyrics)
10 MINUTE DAFT PUNK HAPPY WHEELS PARODY (with Lyrics)

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Steven's Notes: Toby Turner gives his characters the same voices every time he plays happy wheels. It hasn't gotten old on this channel yet though, so he's gonna try to ride it into the ground here as well!

This animated music video spoof of Daft Punk "Get Lucky," is done in the world of Happy Wheels, a fun free flash game that will probably get you killed. http://totaljerkface.com

It follows the story of Irresponsible Dad and his son's repeated doom death, and has a cameo by some DaftPunk helmets and Irresponsible Mom. Click like and favorite if you liked watching the characters in this cartoon and cartoons in general get animated to death!

Animation by Talia Ellis & Stephanie Throssell
Additional Animation by Britta Souhrada
Colors by Ketzi Rivera

Original Tobuscus Character Designed by Gonzalo Villagomez http://youtube.com/GonzoSSM (Gonzo doesn't have time to animate anymore - but check out his awesome content!)

LYRICS:
I always dreamt of BMX. Ha!
Got no more time for dreaming.
My Ex-Wife resisted bringing our
9 year old son Timmy

(No dad, I don't - I don't wanna go. I really don't.
Shut up son)

We don't need a car (Dad - that's a cliff!)
I'll just hold, the space bar
(Um, Dad you're going too fast - argh!)
Respawn at the start,
Didn't get very far (We never do dad. Shut up son!)

I ride a bike with my son,
We always have so much fun (no we don't)
Unless there's mines on the ground
(Dad, landmine!)
Then things are gonna get bloody
(oh no!)

I ride a bike with my son,
Sometimes we do bottle runs, (Nooo!)
Sometimes we dodge harpoon guns (Aaah!)
Sometimes I get to launch Timmy (what? nooo!)
Sometimes I get to launch Timmy (nooo!)
For Tim's perspective, just press C (nooo!)
I think it's time to get bloody
I think it's time to get bloody (oh no!)

(Dad stop - I can't stop - give up Dad - I don't know how - it's just not fun anymore Dad.
Ah, so you admit it was fun once? - Gah!)

It's hard to keep on living (argh, oh God)
This course is unforgiving. (Gargh - oh no Dad!)
I doubt that will be healing (Dad, you should go to the hospital - I don't have insurance)
Son, keep the handles steady

(Dad, what are you doing?)
(Winning son, Charlie Sheen - oh God)

We've come too far
To give up on this course (I disagree - argh!)
I don't need my arms
That's what my son is for (No dad, slow down! - Wooooo!)

We're riding towards a big jump
We fly in front of the sun,
's about time we finally won.
Think we have earned a victory.

(Yesss we did it! - Yay - Oh yesss!
Wanna go again? - Nooo!
You know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna put on my victory helmet.
You look like a robot!)

Robotic dance of victory
Robotic dance of vic-
Robotic dance of victory
Robotic dance of vic-

Robotic dance of victory
Robotic dance of victory
Robotic dance of victory
Robotic dance of victory

I'm irresponsible mom
Thought I should be in this song
He rides a bike with our son
Don't wanna fight for custody

I'm kinda glad when he's gone
I got two kids of my own
And killing us would be wrong
Unless it happens out of frame (Aargh!)
Good one son!

© 2013 Tobuscus

"GET BLOODY" - Daft Punk Happy Wheels Parody (Animated "Get Lucky" Spoof)
"GET BLOODY" - Daft Punk Happy Wheels Parody (Animated "Get Lucky" Spoof)

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Join the Audience!!
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Main Channel - http://youtube.com/Tobuscus
Daily Vlogs - http://youtube.com/tobyturner

Thanks for Favoriting/Liking!! It helps a lot!

Steven's Notes: Toby Turner gives his characters the same voices every time he plays happy wheels. It hasn't gotten old on this channel yet though, so he's gonna try to ride it into the ground here as well!

This animated music video spoof of Daft Punk "Get Lucky," is done in the world of Happy Wheels, a fun free flash game that will probably get you killed. http://totaljerkface.com

It follows the story of Irresponsible Dad and his son's repeated doom death, and has a cameo by some DaftPunk helmets and Irresponsible Mom. Click like and favorite if you liked watching the characters in this cartoon and cartoons in general get animated to death!

Animation by Talia Ellis & Stephanie Throssell
Additional Animation by Britta Souhrada
Colors by Ketzi Rivera

Original Tobuscus Character Designed by Gonzalo Villagomez http://youtube.com/GonzoSSM (Gonzo doesn't have time to animate anymore - but check out his awesome content!)

LYRICS:
I always dreamt of BMX. Ha!
Got no more time for dreaming.
My Ex-Wife resisted bringing our
9 year old son Timmy

(No dad, I don't - I don't wanna go. I really don't.
Shut up son)

We don't need a car (Dad - that's a cliff!)
I'll just hold, the space bar
(Um, Dad you're going too fast - argh!)
Respawn at the start,
Didn't get very far (We never do dad. Shut up son!)

I ride a bike with my son,
We always have so much fun (no we don't)
Unless there's mines on the ground
(Dad, landmine!)
Then things are gonna get bloody
(oh no!)

I ride a bike with my son,
Sometimes we do bottle runs, (Nooo!)
Sometimes we dodge harpoon guns (Aaah!)
Sometimes I get to launch Timmy (what? nooo!)
Sometimes I get to launch Timmy (nooo!)
For Tim's perspective, just press C (nooo!)
I think it's time to get bloody
I think it's time to get bloody (oh no!)

(Dad stop - I can't stop - give up Dad - I don't know how - it's just not fun anymore Dad.
Ah, so you admit it was fun once? - Gah!)

It's hard to keep on living (argh, oh God)
This course is unforgiving. (Gargh - oh no Dad!)
I doubt that will be healing (Dad, you should go to the hospital - I don't have insurance)
Son, keep the handles steady

(Dad, what are you doing?)
(Winning son, Charlie Sheen - oh God)

We've come too far
To give up on this course (I disagree - argh!)
I don't need my arms
That's what my son is for (No dad, slow down! - Wooooo!)

We're riding towards a big jump
We fly in front of the sun,
's about time we finally won.
Think we have earned a victory.

(Yesss we did it! - Yay - Oh yesss!
Wanna go again? - Nooo!
You know what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna put on my victory helmet.
You look like a robot!)

Robotic dance of victory
Robotic dance of vic-
Robotic dance of victory
Robotic dance of vic-

Robotic dance of victory
Robotic dance of victory
Robotic dance of victory
Robotic dance of victory

I'm irresponsible mom
Thought I should be in this song
He rides a bike with our son
Don't wanna fight for custody

I'm kinda glad when he's gone
I got two kids of my own
And killing us would be wrong
Unless it happens out of frame (Aargh!)
Good one son!

© 2013 Tobuscus

I'M GETTING MARRIED!
I'M GETTING MARRIED!

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INTRO:
Hello Audience! I'm Gryphon, and look at me, look at me, just look, look at me. Guess what? The title says, I'm getting married in a couple weeks so I have these new threads that I'm struttin' around, so post in the comments what you think about them! And I would love to read them but I don't know how to read so it's kind of a futile exercise. Click start playlist and it'll make your day extra potentially better, thank you.

OUTRO:
Well there you have it. The cat is out of the hat. I'm getting hitched ladies, either next Tuesday or the Tuesday after that. Depending on when Toby gets out of the big house because he went there because he said he was gonna sell me on the black market, and I called the cops and they were like "That's a no no..." whatever cops say. Anyways, if you want to check back every Tuesday, if you want to come to my wedding. Next Tuesday there's going to be a animated music video so if you care about that at all then...phfff...phff...that's weird, cuz why...But then the week after that I'm gonna get married and you know? Maybe I'll even dance a little bit. It depends on if I feel like it, you know? I probably won't. Ok, thank you.

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© 2013 Tobuscus

FULL OF SH** tzu
FULL OF SH** tzu

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INTRO:
Hello, my name is Gryphon, and well...*gasp* Steven! Wow Steven! I just saw the title of this video! HA! That's so funny I forgot to laugh. Well I did laugh, but it was sacrastic laugh! My breed is not an ossenity Steven! You can't sss ss put my breed in there and censored it out. People are gonna think you said something else in the title and didn't. I'm sorry about Steven he has a tiny tini tiny brain and he's also stupid! But if you want to watch all the videos I made for you today click start playlist, and then we will get this video over as fast as possible, and so people will not see that and be all offended if they are...if they happen to be Sh** Tzus. STEVEN! Don't bleep that out, also, Steven...

OUTRO:
Steven I couldn't even enjoy this video, cuz you titled it that. It didn't even have to do with the commercial, you just used my breed as an ossenity Steven! You just started a war, Steven. I hope you know that you just started...Subscribe and favorite to pledge your allegiance to the side of justice...or if you pledge the side...Steven's side then he'll cover the nation in a cloak of darkness, and no...everybody wants to see so don't do that one, thank you.

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© 2013 Tobuscus

MY CHILDHOOD...
MY CHILDHOOD...

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INTRO:
Hello! My name is Gryphon, and today I'm posting 3 videos cuz Toby was incapacitated and sent to prison because he said he was going to sell me on the black market...So, anyways click start playlist and I'll put in a good word for you with the cops. But I'm not going to tell you which good word I'm going to put in, it'll be a surprise. It might be "Awesome!" or maybe it'll be "Amazing!" or maybe it'll be "Dinosaur." maybe, I don't know I haven't decided. So click start playlist and we'll find out, thank you.

OUTRO:
Hello and thank you for watching this commercial that didn't have me in it so I can't believe you made it to the outro. That's a miracle, so thank you so much for that. Click like and favorite, cuz that's the easter egg that you have found there it is there's below the video, look at it. *Gasp* You found it! And then you know what else you can do? You can give me a treat...threw the video, if that's possible, if you have the ability to put a treat through time and space...Nobody does huh? Ok good then I'll just find one myself then, thank you.

Thanks for Favoriting/Liking!! It helps a lot!

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